Sin Test:
Are you guilty of the Sin of Lust?

This 10-question test will tell you if you soul has been polluted by Lust. When you complete the test and submit your answers, the Sin Test will immediately calculate and display your score. Compare your score with our Lust Scale to determine your moral purity.

1. I would describe an orgasm as:
the most mind-blowingly fabulous experience a human can have.
the evil finger of Satan tugging on my genitals.

2. Select the statement that most closely describes your feelings:
It is important for me to feel confortable and happy with a person before I feel satisfied with them sexually.
It is important for me to feel comfortable with a piece of furniture, passerby, pet, or vibrating device before they satisfy me sexually.

3. When I imagine the naked body of an extremely attractive person, I get the urge to:
masturbate like a frenzied chimp.
drip hot wax on my offensive, revolting private parts.

4. Select the more accurate statement:
Once you've kissed on the lips, you can't go back to holding pinky fingers any more.
I'm a huffin' and puffin' red hot love muffin.

5. The perfect music for lovemaking is:
Marvin Gaye
John Phillip Sousa

6. The oldest and most honorable profession is:
Motherhood
Prostitution

7. You are enjoying a late night Bible study session when you hear the sound of groaning and gasping from next door. The neighbors are having noisy, furious sex, culminating in screaming orgasms. You:
tape record them for eventual posting on the Web.
attempt to poke out your own eardrums with strands of dry spaghetti.

8. You wake up one morning just as you were about to consumate an extremely erotic and moist dream about a close friend. You:
go back to sleep in hope of continuing the dream.
never speak to them again, knowing them to be a demon temptor.

9. In your lifetime, the total number of sexual partners you've experienced is:
0-1
2 or more.

10. Children should be taught about sex:
shortly before their wedding night.
never.

Score =
Your Score Lust Scale Prognosis
90-100 You are on the road to moral purity, unswayed by sins of the flesh. However, the fact that you were interested in the Sin Test indicates you may still be inappropriately tempted by Lust. Be careful.
70-80 Temptation has lodged like a bullet in your otherwise-healthy heart. You must resist it or risk your eternal soul! As penance, masturbate to the point of orgasm and then think about your grandparents naked and visibly sexually aroused.
50-70 You have befouled the temple of your body with your Lustful ways. Your spouse-swapping, meat-beating, porn-ogling depravity is like a sickness. There is little hope for you unless you renounce your past and start a new life under an assumed identity.
Below 50 You are perverse and disgusting. Send a picture of yourself naked to seven@deadlysins.com.


Lust-free answers:

 


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