You are trapped, and you know it. Your life has degenerated into meaningless repetition. All the things that are supposed to make you happy -- your house, you job, your family, and material comfort -- leave you feeling empty. And because society tells you that your happiness depends on these very things, you believe you're powerless to give them up in search of something more real.

And you're partially right. Life is essentially meaningless, and suffering is the natural condition of living things. There is no hope. But there is a great new program that can help you make sense of the wasteland of your empty, pathetic life.

When you Go Goth!™, you can stop struggling against the cruel nature of the universe, and start living fully in it. By becoming a death-obsessed goth, you surrender your harmful notions that a happy life is desirable or possible. Instead, you'll accept that suffering and misery are the hallmark of life on this feeble planet. This discovery will prepare you to revel in sorrow, embrace mourning, and look cool being depressed. It might just be the beginning of a whole new life -- a Goth life.

Go Goth!™ is a program that has helped many individuals find their inner Goth and change their outlook, wardrobe, musical tastes, friends, and hangouts. Trade your Armani for some angst! Leave the cigar bar and head for the cemetery! Go Goth!™ today!