From whence comes the sudden outpouring of fawning support for hack pop-lit sensation John Grisham? Suddenly, the 7DS Homepage mailbox is bristling with outraged messages from his expansive fan club. After my recent Tale about the new trend of E-mailing me for spiritual guidance, I fully expected a deluge of letters from more members of the faithful e-flock, soliciting my advice and giving me precious voyeuristic glimpses of their innermost desires and shameful wants. Instead, I'm fending off foamy accusations that I harbor ill-concealed Envy of a man whose idea of a suspenseful plot innovation is to have every character in the book know the contents of a legal brief that only the reader seems to be in the dark about (The Pelican Brief). Once again, John Grisham, with almost eerie prescience, rains on my personal parade.
Here's a couple examples from the mailbag:
Subject: ? on pride
Date: Tue, 24 Mar 1998 15:31:23 PST
From: [interestng name]@hotmail.com
To: seven@deadlysins.com
dear sir....i am sorry, first i do not understand what you are trying to express by attacking john grisham's literature, personal life, and accomplishments in his writings....are you a bit envious???? i know that you stated that this is not so but to me it is a little obvious!!!!!secondly, if i were to go wash my car and put a little wax on it, then look at it and take some pride in my work am i not committing a sin??????where does a person cross the line in this scenario?????if you would, please respond to my questions.....
Subject: about your web page
Date: Sat, 11 Apr 1998 17:51:09 EDT
From: [football reference]@aol.com
To: seven@deadlysins.com
I know its none of my business to talk about someone's ideas but I think that
John Gresham(sic) is one of the most talented writers of his time. I am an English
teacher in high school and I encourage my students who are interested in the
law to read his books because they are so great
thank you very little
Well. Putting aside the questionable syntax and spelling of our alledged "English teacher in high school", I'm stung. If you cared to run a search for John Grisham on a popular search engine, you'd see that there's ample evidence that I'm in the wrong. John Grisham is a religion. He speaks to the mediocrity of our lives. And like a good preacher, he wants to inspire great things, but knows that without a gaggle of followers, he's nobody.
Following his example, priests are studying how to preach like John Grisham writes. It's no coincidence that John Grisham writes about The Law. To what higher power can we appeal in these dark times? In litigation there is questioning, judgement, and punishment. In the growing flood of civil suits, victims seek compensation for events that might have once been called acts of God. Now The Law can assign fractions of blame to individuals and corporate entities, apportioning responsibility where we might once have seen the acts of fickle dieties, or the testing of our faith. Law explains our responsibilities and promises speedy retribution for transgressors, far better than any religion can. There is no longer Sin, only crime.
John Grisham has done more to restore faith in this latter-day God than most religious figures, because he knows that no matter how good your works may be, they don't amount to anything unless people buy in. You have to sell. You make some compromises in quality along the way, but what's important is that the crowd wants you.
The people love John Grisham. And so do I, because he's unwittingly spinning an ancient, cautionary tale.